Stress, Recovery and UGH

I was coaching someone the other day about all the things she HAD to get done.

She was attributing her feelings of stress and anxiety to all the “things” that were out of her control.

Or were they? 

Overwhelm, anxiety, stress… that feeling that there is just TOO much to do and NEVER enough time….it’s not coming from the “to do” list. It comes from us. 

As a stress management coach, I use a tool that suggests that all feelings come from thoughts. Examine the thoughts, re-wire and/or change them, and POOF! No more stress. Simple. ..BUT, not foolproof.

Here’s what I’ve learned. Anxiety, stress, it’s not only from our thoughts. It’s also in the body. Deep inside, the body is screaming, “REST!” “STOP!” “I NEED to stay home tonight.” And here’s the rub…we ignore the signals from the body. We are conditioned to plow forward, get it done, and finish THE LIST. Rest? I’ll rest when I die. 

Here's what I think. That little pit of anxiety or overwhelm or stress…whatever word you use to describe it, comes from constantly being “on.” Even when we rest, we end up scrolling or watching Netflix or eating ice cream…so we really don’t get a deep, luxurious rest. Just a little mini break in between loads of laundry, emails, and dishes. These mini-breaks never let us recover fully. So, the next big thing sends us into a tailspin, creating more stress, and on goes the cycle. Think of a hamster on a wheel. She gets tired, but instead of hopping off the wheel and taking an uninterrupted nap, she just slows it down enough to check her email. 

What to do? There is no way to rid our lives of stress. And we benefit from stress in the correct dose. Stress from exercise improves cardiovascular fitness and creates strong bones. Stress from parenting creates a deep well of satisfaction within, watching that sleeping toddler knowing, “Hey, I did that.” Stress at work motivates us to create amazing products. Humans benefit from stress, in small doses, followed by recovery. We learn resilience and patience in recovery. 

So, I ask you, are you taking time to recover? I have a theory that it’s getting harder and harder to slow down and recover because, as a society, we are less able to attend to a task. One task at a time, without distraction. Take a bath. Period. No book, no music, no phone. Watch a movie you love. Period. No phone with you. No flicking channels. No folding laundry. Take a walk. Period. No phone, podcast, music, audiobook. It feels awful. Like you’ve forgotten your right arm or left your kid at daycare overnight. 

So, take a rest, even if it's 5 minutes. See how that goes. 

Want to learn more about allowing stress, seeking rest, and how to recover? I offer 1:1 coaching. We meet privately via Zoom to delve deeper into your stressors and create a plan that works for you. Schedule your FREE DISCOVERY call to get started on your journey back to you.