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No Resolution New Year: Part II

lessons from coaching tangible techniques Jan 29, 2024


Hopefully you read my last post about NOT making resolutions. If not, CLICK HERE.


Once you’ve chosen a few habits to tackle then what?


How about monumental shift in your brain known as:


              EXPECT THE BEST 



Ever notice that when faced with an unknown situation the brain goes immediately to catastrophe? No matter what, it WILL NOT work out.  Think of a recent situation you were sure was NOT going to work out. (The ride to work in the car and the shower are my favorite places to have imaginary arguments and make plans for responding to catastrophes.)


Have most (or any) of these situations taken place?


That’s a NO.


Why does the brain catastrophize? Habit. We’ve been taught to never “expect” things. We’ve conditioned ourselves to “think the worst… that way I won’t be disappointed.”  As neuroscience goes it’s easier for the brain to find “fault” rather than grace. It’s the brain’s conditioning to look for danger and predators, so it can protect us. The problem is, most of the danger the brain is trained to seek out no longer exists (have you seen a Saber-Tooth tiger lately?). However, the brain ADAPTS. With no actual danger, it will see danger in body  language, a scowl, THE LOOK. It will hear danger is someone’s tone of voice or HOW they say your name. It “feels” danger in the air or the atmosphere.


So I ask all brains:


Why is it MORE likely that things WILL NOT work out? What if it’s 50/50?




Here’s the rub: When you decide to think, “It will work out” your brain will notice all the ways it could or did work out.


And you know what, it always works out. You know how I know this?

Because it already happened  


Never thought of Expecting the Best? Here’s practice for you to get started (try it, it’s fun):


  • Notice the negative thoughts, thoughts about catastrophe or thoughts like, “This is NEVER going to happen for me.” 
  • Allow them to move through your mind like the credits at the end of a movie 
  • Try on something new….especially something you ALREADY believe: 

o   I always figure things out

o   I am trained WELL for “this”

o   I know what I’m doing


  •  INSTEAD of expending energy on “changing” thoughts OR beating yourself up for having them 

o   See above for movie screen analogy 

o   Write your new thought down and post it someplace you look every day (PS: If find I have to move it every few days as I tend to ignore things )


  •  No need to go from catastrophe to rainbows and daisies. Try just going to neutral: “OK brain, we are not happy about X, however, let’s entertain the possibility that it could work out.”



When you argue with reality you lose, but only 100% of the time. – Byron Katie




Want more practices for brain health and change?

Try my online stress management course.

 For a one-time payment of $99 you get lifetime access to:


  • Research backed presentations on the Neuroscience of Stress (A $100 Value) 
  •  Specific daily practices for stress management and relief (A $75 Value 
  • A full-length Stress and Release NeurosculptingR meditation (A $50 value) 
  •  Workbooks to use for journaling (A $25 Value) 
  •   A bonus unit on Gratitude (A $100 Value) 



Want to know more about what I do? Try my new course,

"Stress and Overwhelm: Causes, Cures and Coping."

In it you will find neuroscience, practices and my signature sense of humor. All at your fingertips in the Kajabi app.



I also offer 1:1 coaching for physical therapists and other people in health care who want to love their life, jobs and career again. If you’ve been thinking, “All I need is a new job, new career, new something and I’ll feel better”… I can help you feel better right now, right HERE. 


Click the link to book a free 45 minute stress-assessment call and get started on your unique plan. 




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