Got Holiday Stress? Try This!

Getting into the holiday “spirit” or more like the holiday “rat race.” I spent $100 in CVS yesterday. Whaaattt?? On shaving cream and toothpaste? Yup. I believe in useful stocking stuffers . Then I had the absolute AUDACITY to try to BACK MY CAR OUT of the parking lot!!! Again, I say, WHAAAATT???

I’m not sure where people were off to on that fine Friday afternoon, but obviously they all had more important things to do than I did. I know this because NO ONE let me out of my parking space. So, they MUST be headed someplace VERRRYYY important to be in such a hurry. I’m glad I had no place important to be. So, instead of getting anxious and annoyed and stressed out, I observed. It was quite amusing. 

I learned this technique during my first yoga teacher training. I have practiced it in various forms over the years. But when the going gets tough, AKA 21 days before Christmas here in the USA, I go back to basic:

Breathe... Relax... Feel.... Watch... Allow….

1. BREATHE: Take full breaths, in through your nose. Allow your belly to be soft – is SHOULD be PUFFED OUT!! Nothing is wrong with you if your belly sticks out when you inhale. It’s supposed to! That’s why God made yoga pants, so we could all return to our breath. 

2. RELAX: As you exhale notice your jaw, and RELEASE IT! How about that space between your eyes? Top of your shoulders (Upper Trapezius for my Anatomy geeks)? Are your hands clenched? Scan your body with each exhale and release.…..it’s OK. As you release and relax, remind yourself that you are safe and sound in your car or chair or bed. Nothing has gone wrong. You could even do this at work in between e-mails. No one will know.

3. FEEL: Now, here comes the “hard” part. At least it’s been hard for me over the years. Feel. Notice the feeling that is coming up. I was annoyed when I put my car in reverse, looked back, the parking lot was JAMMED, and no one was even looking my way. Instead of pushing the feeling  away or wishing I wasn’t or, worst of all, telling myself, “I shouldn’t be annoyed” – FEEL…here’s how…

4. WATCH: Watch the feeling, notice where it is in your body.  In your belly? In your throat? Heart? Scan your body again and find the feeling. Notice, Does it have a color? Texture? Sound? Is it moving? Stable? Heavy? Light? Thick? Thin? Describe the feeling as if you were on the telephone with yourself (no video – yes, your phone does that, in case you haven’t used it like that in a while – so you must be specific and DESCRIBE). 

5. ALLOW: As you are describing the feeling in detail, Allow it to do its thing. Maybe it will move around. Feel stronger. Change shape or color or texture. The key here is ALLOW (as opposed to push away).  I heard once that a feeling only lasts 90 seconds. I’m not sure I agree or believe this, I think it depends on the feeling. But what I do know is, when we DON’T ALLOW our feelings, we do all sorts of things to AVOID them…shop, eat, drink, binge Netflix. You name it, humans do it to avoid feeling their own feelings. The worst thing about a feeling usually passes before you can even answer the question, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

By the time the parking lot cleared, I had forgotten why I was even annoyed in the first place. Then I backed out nice and safely. And calmly. Are dare I say, happy to be done with stocking stuffers and no longer thinking, “$100 on shaving cream, are you nuts?”

I challenge you to enjoy the Christmas season by being the watcher of your feelings. In the space it takes to breathe, relax, feel, watch, allow you give yourself the opportunity to respond to your surroundings instead of react. You reclaim your power as a compassionate, empathetic spiritual being having a human experience. Every time you allow a feeling you step more and more into YOU. 

Noticing and processing feelings is just one of the many things we might do on a coaching call. If you are curious, book a consult. I love doing this with people, it’s a powerful, helpful exercise that you can learn and apply for the rest of your life. 

Happy Christmas season and if you see me at CVS, I’m waiting for everyone else to pull out. It’s much more relaxing.