When It's JUST NOT WORKING!Jul 09, 2022
Sometimes deep breaths, meditation, yoga, and the ever-popular thought work is JUST NOT F#$%ING WORKING.
So now what?
Time to allow the feeling, that’s what.
Allow a feeling, WTF are you talking about? Don’t feelings just happen and then go away?
Actually….humans are ninjas at ignoring and stuffing feelings and often not so great at allowing and processing them.
Overeating, over-drinking, getting that pop-up from Netflix, “are you still there” – these behaviors MAY indicate you are AVOIDING feelings. “I don’t want to feel stressed, anxious, lonely, insulted, so I will just, _____________ .” (Fill in the blank). What is your go-to? I knit and Netflix myself, it’s called, “Knitflix.” And you know what? It’s OK if it’s intentional. If I DECIDED, “Hey, I’m avoiding feelings and chilling out right now.”
BUT, when these choices lead to destructive behaviors OR we avoid things we love OR we are sidetracked from our goals because we are avoiding feelings, either unconsciously or habitually, then it’s not OK. It’s holding us back. It’s blocking forward motion, it’s blocking action and preventing us from reaching our goals. Then it’s not OK. It’s time for a pause.
That’s right. It’s a pause. Take a breath. Identify the feeling. Name it. A name makes it more objective and less able to hijack your day. Then, notice, where is it? Neck? Jaw? Stomach? Heart? Mine all live in my stomach. Does it have a color? Texture? Sound? What happens when you think about it? Does it get Bigger? Smaller? Nothing?
There is no right way to do it, which coincidentally means there is no WRONG way to do it. It’s simply a practice of getting to know your moods and your body and then, taking charge. Instead of being sidetracked or hijacked by a feeling, try a pause. Let the feeling move through you. No feeling can ever hurt you, it’s just a vibration in your body. And, truth bomb, feelings are NOT facts. Feelings are vibrations. You get to decide if a feeling is warranted or just some residual crap knocking around your body from last week or last month or last year.
If you want to know more about processing feelings:
1: Check out this YouTube video I made…. AND
2: Book a call
I offer 1:1 coaching in the form of a 3-month coaching package. Most coaching consists of you talking, me listening, and us looking at your thoughts to see how they are affecting your feelings. But sometimes, I hold space and act as a witness so you can process an emotion (a favorite part of coaching for me). The ability to identify and process an emotion will serve you forever. I love teaching other people to do it. It’s simple, anyone can learn, and then you can do it whenever you need.
Want to know more about what I do? Try my new course,
"Stress and Overwhelm: Causes, Cures and Coping."
In it you will find neuroscience, practices and my signature sense of humor. All at your fingertips in the Kajabi app.
I also offer 1:1 coaching for physical therapists and other people in health care who want to love their life, jobs and career again. If you’ve been thinking, “All I need is a new job, new career, new something and I’ll feel better”… I can help you feel better right now, right HERE.
Click the link to book a free 45 minute stress-assessment call and get started on your unique plan.
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