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Toddler Rules for Living

getting to know me tangible techniques Feb 22, 2023

I recently spent some time with friends who have a toddler. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve spent any more than a few hours with a tiny human. I was not the primary caretaker, so I got to observe. One afternoon, her mom put her down for a nap. She immediately started babbling away. Her mom looked at me, shrugged and said, “That’s her process, 15 – 20 minutes of babbling followed by passing out for a 2 hour nap.” One morning, we took her out for breakfast. She proceeded to flirt and talk with everyone around us. All the strangers found this delightful, and not the least bit off or weird. At one point at the beach, she just started crying. Enough crying brought in the grownups and the stroller and POOF, she was immediately whisked off the hot sandy beach to a nice, breezy ride home.


Coming home I have realized that toddler life is authentic. Granted, the communication thing is a little different, but, not necessarily less effective. 😊


Here’s is what I took from the tiny human:


  1. Your process is your process, and nobody gets to tell you it’s wrong or weird or off or unnecessary. Need to run every day for stress management and quiet time? That’s your process. Need a walk ALONE, that’s your process. Need to see your schedule the night before, thank you very much, that’s your process. You get to change, alter or adjust your process whenever you like. Period. End of discussion. And my process is none of your business and vice versa. Variety among humans, large and tiny, is truly grand and EVERYONE has a process.


  1. Smiling and talking to people just because you feel like it can be great fun. You don’t need a reason to be friendly. It’s not weird or politically incorrect. We are by nature social beings. The brain craves connection for safety. Communication creates connection. And if you say something that someone disagrees with, it doesn’t mean anything about you. See number 1. We are all entitled to our opinions and our process and our quirks. AND we get to be delighted by ourselves in the process.


  1. It’s OK to leave when you’ve had enough. See previous blog titled, “Are you saying yes when you mean no?” Honestly, how much better would your world be if you just left when you’ve had enough? Leave work on time. Leave the in-laws before dessert. Leave that job that no longer serves you or that toxic relationship you feel obligated to continue. Leave when you are ready. Luckily as grown ups we have language, but you could use tried and true toddler whining method if you like. I noticed it worked every time 😉.


     4. Need a nap? Take a nap. Period. No explanations needed. 


Can’t imagine owning your process? Saying No? LEAVING? Napping in the middle of the day?

Let’s talk. How much better would your life be if you adopted just ONE of the “Toddler Rules” for living?


Life coaching is about noticing the thoughts that prevent you from saying no, or leaving or owning your process. Once you notice the thoughts, you get to change them so you can say no, leave when you want to, own your process. That’s all. Simple. Not easy mind you, but simple. When my kids were little I would never have dreamed of leaving my mother-in-law’s Easter dinner early. It ‘s funny when I look back on it…I was raised by a woman who ALWAYS left when she was ready, my maternal grandmother. That woman NEVER stayed to the end. EVER. I’m glad I’m realizing this NOW instead of waiting until I’m 80.


How about you? Waiting until you are 80 to leave early? WHY?? Book a call, let’s talk.

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