THERE is Never Better Than HEREJul 09, 2022
Have you ever wondered if THERE is better than HERE?
If I lived someplace warmer….if I had a bigger house….if I had different parents, kids… a different partner. Then POOF…magically, “everything” would be better?
Like what? What would be better? If you had a bigger/better/different house…you’d still have a house that needed cleaning and upkeep and electricity. If you lived someplace…warmer, better, “nicer” – you’d still have an annoying neighbor and a barking dog nearby. Maybe you’d leave the Northeast and trade snow for termites? “I just need a new relationship.” Because someone else would agree with all your opinions and remember to put the garbage out and NEVER insult your family?
Listen, I’m here to tell you, THERE is never better than HERE. Do you want to know why? Because wherever you go, you bring your brain with you (I hope). And with that brain comes all the thoughts that make “here” seem icky. What makes here “good” or “bad” is completely in your control. Your thoughts create HERE.
We are enticed by change. Here’s why. We DECIDE to make a change. A large hit of Dopamine immediately occurs IN THE DECISION. It’s the anticipation of something new, something different. Dopamine gets on board when curiosity is piqued. Hmm…new home? Dopamine hit. New state? Dopamine hit. New partner….you get the idea. But, as with all dopamine hits, alas, this too shall pass. You see, dopamine comes with ANTICIPATION. Dopamine actually peaks, right BEFORE any action. Then…it’s time to take action….make that change, and pack those bags. The action is exciting and distracting. There is no time to think about feelings or consequences. That’s known as adrenaline.
Then…the decision is over, the dopamine is gone, the adrenaline is gone, and guess what? There you are…right where you were. The thoughts that drove the feelings that led to the action….STILL IN YOUR BRAIN. Still with you. Came right along with the dust bunnies and your rattiest T-shirt you couldn’t throw away. And suddenly…here is the same as there.
So you see, THERE is never better than HERE.
Here is great….and awful. Here is beautiful….and ugly. Here is happy…and sad. Because here is where the heart is and here is where you get to decide your thoughts. You get to decide how to feel about the weather or the house or your partner or your kids. You decide that here is perfect for you right now. And no matter where you are or who you are with, life is 50/50. The human experience is always 50/50.
So, you want to make a change? New house, a new state, a new partner. Hell yes! I’m all for it, change is great and can be invigorating and necessary. But make a change because you DECIDED that while you love your house or your state or your partner that it’s time for YOU to have something different. Don’t make a change because you are SURE that THERE is going to be better. That THERE is going to FIX everything. It won’t.
I’m a Stress Management Coach and I offer 1:1 coaching for physical therapists and other people in health care who want to love their life, jobs, and career again. If you’ve been thinking, “All I need is a new job, new career, new something and I’ll feel better”… I can help you feel better right now, right HERE.
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I also offer 1:1 coaching for physical therapists and other people in health care who want to love their life, jobs and career again. If you’ve been thinking, “All I need is a new job, new career, new something and I’ll feel better”… I can help you feel better right now, right HERE.
Click the link to book a free 45 minute stress-assessment call and get started on your unique plan.
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