Letting Go

Have you seen “Wicked” (the musical)?  Based on the Wizard of Oz. Maybe you’ve seen the meme with Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West:

“Ultimate chick Flick: Two women fighting over shoes.”

Funny. 

Inaccurate.

Wicked, the musical, it’s not about shoes, it’s about acceptance and letting go. Two things that go together like red shoes and tiny dogs. 

Here’s a great exchange from the song, “Defying Gravity”

                                 Glinda: “Elphie, listen to me, just say you're sorry!

                                              You can still be with the wizard

                                              What you've worked and waited for

                                              You can have all you ever wanted.”

                                  Elphaba: “I know

                                                  But I don't want it

                                                  No, I can't want it anymore”

Glinda must let Elphaba go. Let her pursue her dreams. As much as she disagrees with Elphaba's choice. As much as she wants to “help."

But letting go rips your heart out. The only way to put your heart back together is acceptance. Glinda learns to accept Elphaba’s choice, so she can let go with love.

Letting go with love is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. The brain refuses to accept- which creates anger. Anger leads to spite and fear and shame and lord knows what else. Letting go in anger is forcing yourself to let go. It’s denying the FEAR that is underneath it all because letting go is scary as hell.  

Anytime we are summoned to let go… of someone (kids off to college, break up, divorce, even death), or something (job, career, house) - fear is first & foremost. The brain offers: “I can't survive without you."

Remind your brain...."I’ll survive" ...... with understanding, compassion, and above all, love. Love for myself and ALL of me. Love for the person leaving- whatever the case may be. Love for the experiences I've had, the choices I've made, and the chances I've taken. 

And here’s the best part…when I show up with love, I’ll say & do things from my highest self I'll keep my bruised ego in check and refuse to dole out any pain. I'll learn that letting go with love is an act of self-love itself. Win-win for me. 

The Tin man never needed anything that he didn’t already have. Neither do I. Neither do you. 

I’m a Stress Management Coach and I offer 1:1 coaching for physical therapists and other people in health care who want to love their life, jobs, and career again. I can’t take the fear out of letting go. But I can help you process the pain and fear and coach you to the next step.