Creating Safety...Part 2

Have you ever been “going through” something and your brain offers, “Why is this taking so long?”

I’ve been going through a breakup. It’s been over a month now. And my brain keeps offering, “WHY is this taking so long?”

Today, My reply was:  “WHAT is it that is taking SO LONG?”

Brains…. just like to feel safe. And secure. But safe and secure equal STATUS QUO. Don’t change my partner, or my job, or my food, or heaven forbid do NOT buy NEW sweatpants. THESE are my comfortable sweatpants. Never mind they have holes; the elastic waist no longer works (so I moon the mailman daily) and they are BEYOND ugly. Never mind I can afford to buy 10 new pairs. No, oh no, the BRAIN does not want NEW Sweatpants…a new job…or a new partner. 

That’s OK brain, I got you. I know you are just doing your job, following your programming, to keep me safe. And change is hard and scary and expensive and ANYTHING but safe. BUT….guess what brain? We got this.

I can create safety to be me no matter what the external circumstances might be. Personally, I’ve created an entire bag of practices that teach my body, mind, and spirit that I’m safe. These practices include breathwork (pranayama for my yoga peeps), interoception exercises, regulating activities, and journaling. I also do my best to get 8 hours of sleep per night, fuel my body with good food and stay hydrated. A tired and hangry brain will NEVER feel safe. But even a well-fed brain will see danger where there is none. And that’s OK. I’m going to thank my brain later for doing her job, just like she’s been programmed to, for thousands of years.

Then, I’m going to take a walk outside, play with the new puppy, and hug my daughter. These activities will let my brain know that although a breakup sucks, it doesn’t impact my safety. It doesn’t impact the core of me. It doesn't impact my inherent worth. In yoga, we call it the “sara.” Sara means “sap” – the essence of me. My essence is safe and sound and ready for the next chapter. 

Feeling stressed out, overwhelmed, anxious…. UNSAFE, all the time? Wondering how to cultivate practices of your own to create safety from within?

I’m a Stress Management Coach and I offer 1:1 coaching for physical therapists and other people in health care who are stressed out, anxious, and overwhelmed and want to love their life, jobs, and career again. What does safety have to do with that? Book a call and find out. Safety from within is more important than you might think.